FOR YOU
by Emmelyne
Summary: Irvine catches Rinoa in the act of a suicide attempt. What could cause Rinoa to do such a thing?
1. For You, Chapter 1

**author's note **

_I was working on revising this story some time ago. Though I'd love to complete the concept behind the story, I don't really write anymore, and I haven't played a game in ages. I focus most my creativity into art these days. I'm sorry, but I highly doubt it will ever be completed. I've left this piece here for the sake of fond memories._

* * *

**For You **  
A Final Fantasy 8 story  
written byShannon Jones-Chavez

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**Chapter 1 **

Irvine was overwhelmed with confusion and fear, as he watched the scene unfold before him. The doctors rushed about with almost cold precision, working determinedly to save the young life on the table. He almost felt guilty, for rescuing her, and bringing her here, knowing that it wasn't what she wanted. But he couldn't let her die, despite everything that had happed. A nurse approached him.

"I think it would be better if you waited outside. We won't be able to let in any visitors until she is stable." By the tone of her voice, he knew that that might not be very soon. He nodded his head and left quietly. _Might as well go get Squall. _He stepped out into the dark Garden hallway. It was always peaceful in the garden this time of night. The silence gave him little distraction from his thoughts. Irvine ran to the barracks, pushing his body so he couldn't think as much.

He arrived at Squall's small apartment, relieved to see the light creeping under the door. _At least he's awake, still that's no guarantee that he'll answer the door._ Irvine knocked. Silence. He knocked again. "Squall, it's important." He heard footsteps. They stopped at the door, but the door remained shut. "It's Rinoa, she's at the medical center, and it looks really bad." Irvine stepped away from the door and waited. The door creaked open as Squall reluctantly opened the door. His eyes briefly met Irvine's before he turned and headed down the hall without a word. Irvine followed him, knowing that it was no use talking. They walked painfully slow; Irvine couldn't stand it any longer. "Come on man! I know you're angry with her, we all are, but right now that doesn't matter."

"What happened?" Squall asked his voice cold, with out turning or a making any effort to quicken his pace. Irvine closed his eyes, the evening's events flashing vividly through his mind.

* * *

He had gone to the training center to go to the 'secret area' in the back. It had been locked since some kids had gotten mauled by a T-rexsaur while sneaking through the Training Center at night. Luckily, he had one of he few keys, so he knew that it was the perfect place to get away from Selphie's rage. Selphie's rage. He grinned at the thought. He hadn't thought it possible, but the small woman was quite good at throwing violent temper tantrums, especially when her boyfriend had a wandering eye. He jiggled the key in the door, and it opened with more ease than he had expected. He swung the door open without a thought; he had no idea that someone would already be there. Rinoa spun around, startled. Her ebony hair, stringy and tangled, whipped across her tear streaked and bloodied face as she looked down at him from her perch atop the railing. Her nightgown was tattered and covered with Grat blood, and the red of her own. Her gown fluttered damply against her pale ankles, her feet, bare and dirty. It looked like she'd come through the training center with no weapons or protection. Her eyes widened briefly in surprise, and then a look of serene determination swept over her. Irvine watched in horror as she smiled and let herself fall back, her arms outspread. Without a thought, he summoned Bahamut, and ran to the railing. He looked down at her falling figure, helplessly. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting and watching the Guardian Force appeared, gently snatching the fallen angel from the air. The great dragon swooped around, back up to the balcony, to drop Rinoa's now unconscious form into Irvine's waiting arms. Irvine spun around, bolting through the training center, Bahamut clearing the way to the door. 

He ran through the hall, adrenaline pumping. Glancing down at her still form, he noticed that body was light, frail and thin. She looked awful, beaten and bloodied; yet a small smile curled the corners of her lips. He felt a deep twinge of guilt for everything that he had said about her. He would never be able to stand the guilt if she died. We are all guilty, he thought Quistis, Selphie, Zell, and I. We should have seen it coming, but we were too busy blaming her, hating her, pushing her to do exactly what she just did. He gritted his teeth and pushed himself to run faster. He rounded the corner and headed down the short bridge to he medical center. The night nurse stared at him wide-eyed for a second as he barged through the door. She then noticed the deathly still woman in his arms and rushed in to action.

"Jen!" She bellowed, "Call Dr. Kadowaki! Emergency!" and ran to Irvine's aid. Within minutes, they'd began working on her and had ushered him out.

_

* * *

_

Squall had begun to run, hastened by Irvine's story. His heart felt as if it was folding in on it's self as mixed emotions of fear and desperation, along hurt and betrayal surged through him. He slowed as they reached the Medical Center doors. He stood before the doors silently for a moment, Irvine his somber shadow. "Go see how she is." He said, still staring at the doors, unable to muster the will to enter. He wanted desperately to go to her, but she had torn his heart to shreds. He wouldn't repeat that mistake again. Irvine nodded and slipped silently into the Medical Center.

Things had quieted down. He approached the counter, catching the nurse's eye. She looked apprehensively at him, a cool rush of dread swept over Irvine once again. "She's resting under supervision." The young woman told him. Irvine nodded. He was never good at dealing with serious situations. He always left that to people like Quistis and Squall. _Squall..._ He sighed and went out to the hall.

"She's sleeping, they won't let me in, but I'm sure they'll let you see her." Irvine informed Squall. The young commander seemed to struggle for a moment over what to do, then went in. He a nurse guided him to a room filled with a tangle of machines and IV's. The nurse in the room stood as he entered.

"Don't wake her, Mr. Leonhart. We had to sedate her when she came around. She's still very weak and needs rest." Squall nodded, and the woman left. He watched her still form under the lights of the machines, the darkness almost hiding the unhealthy pallor, bruises and abrasions. He approached the bed, reaching out to touch her cheek. Her skin was clammy, and her breathing ragged. His heart clenched tighter, she could rip his heart out a dozen times over, and he would still love her. It felt like a curse... this love of his.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" He muttered, glaring down at her. The burn of anger felt good. It helped lessen the stabbing pain that seemed determined to gouge out his heart. "Why are you doing all of this? Alienating all of your friends," _not to mention leaving me,_ he thought, unable to even utter the words, "and now this." The anger felt good. It distracted him from the pain. He looked up to find a chair. It was going to be a long night.

Squall awoke to the sounds of a nurse checking on Rinoa. He rubbed his neck and blinked painfully as the nurse pulled open the blinds. He noticed that the nurse had removed the oxygen tube from Rinoa's nose, but the light revealed the extent of her injuries that the darkness had hidden. Her eyes were dark pits, her cheeks gaunt, and her body thin. Her small hands were wrapped in bandages, as were her feet and head. Her left eye was swollen, and her hair was matted with blood and sweat. Encircling her upper arm was the Odine bracelet she wore night and day. It glinted brazenly there, seeming to mock the entire situation. Squall found himself standing over her, too afraid to even touch her. All hard feelings towards her had melted the night before, and now he only wished to protect her from herself. "Mr. Leonhart, I need you to leave for a while so I can do my job." The nurse interrupted him from his thoughts. He nodded, turned to leave, then stopped and turned back. He bent and gently kissed her cheek. Her eyelids fluttered and slowly opened. He wasn't sure if she was fully conscious, but he took his ring placed it on the chain around her neck. "This ring has protected you before... hopefully it can protect you now.." He whispered to her, and left.

Irvine was waiting for him outside the Center. "You look like you need some coffee," Irvine suggested. Squall simply nodded and headed in he direction of the Cafeteria. "Did you find out the extent of her injuries?" Irvine asked hesitantly. Squall stopped. It was early morning, and the halls of the Garden were still absent of students.

"Gashes to the head, hands, and back. A particularly deep one on the right thigh. Minor concussion, and abrasions to the feet. Dehydration and several weeks of self inflicted starvation. There were also traces of toxins in her blood stream, from the Grat's poison... she's still under observation, so there could be more." He recited, just as if giving a mission report. Irvine placed a comforting hand on Squall's shoulder. Squall pulled away and said nothing more. The guilt was eating him up inside. _How could no one have noticed? Several weeks of starvation...Several weeks of her wasting away. _He shook his head_. No wonder she doesn't love me, I didn't even notice her starving herself to death… _

_

* * *

The gloaming is the hour just before true night makes it's way across the land. Pink and orange tipped the waves as the day receded into night. Squall sat, silent, still, watching the day leave. His hair ruffled in the sea breeze, and salt tainted his lips. It was a magnificent view from his Garden balcony. The Garden curved below him, arching out of site, giving the feeling that nothing but water lay below. It was his safe-haven, his only escape within the confines of the Garden. He could order the Garden anywhere, but he could never leave it. He rubbed his head, the headache had returned. More and more intensely it throbbed behind his eyes, blurring his vision. He rubbed his eyes and stared back out at the ocean, willing the pain away. He closed his eyes and let himself drift. _

He heard Rinoa in the room before she opened the glass door to the small balcony. He kept his eyes closed; enjoying the quiet just a little longer..."So this is where you've been hiding!" she beamed.

He smiled inwardly, knowing exactly how she would look before he even opened his eyes. Amber flecks in dark brown eyes, glossy, raven hair with face framing golden highlights, and a smile, there would definitely be a smile. He opened his eyes, and there she stood, his Rinoa. She flipped her hair back and cocked her head at him. "Are you going to just sit there, or answer me?" She demanded. He blinked, _what had she said?_ "Do you want to go on Friday or what?"

"Go where?" He asked, getting up.

"TO THE F-E-S-T-I-V-A-L." She repeated slowly. "You know, Masked ball, stay out late, flirt with beautiful women... Remember? Selphie has talked of nothing else for days." It still wasn't ringing a bell_. How could she expect him to keep up with Selphie's ramblings when he had his duties to deal with? It couldn't be the Garden festival again, the last one was only, what, a few, weeks or months ago._ "Honestly Squall, sometimes I wonder if you notice any of us at all." Rinoa turned away. He grabbed her arm, pulling her back. She glared angrily at him.

"Rinoa, stop. I'm sorry, I've just been so busy..." Her expression softened.

"I know." She could never stay mad at him, which was a blessing because he was so good at making her furious. She sighed. "The Garden Festival, it's a masquerade ball this year. Selphie really out did herself." She grinned and added, "with my help of course. You have to make sure you have a costume and time off if you want to go. Everyone is going, and they'd be disappointed if you stayed home." She kept her eyes averted, knowing he wouldn't want to go.

"Sounds like fun." He answered. Her jaw dropped and she raised her eyes to meet his. His eyes were smiling. Rarely did he smile with his whole face, but she could always see it in his eyes.

"Really?!" She squealed, jumping into his arms. He nodded, the smile spreading across his face. "I have just the costume for you!" she exclaimed. He rolled his eyes, knowing he wouldn't like this.

Zell was roaring with laughter, which was a frightening sight in his costume. He wore very little besides red body paint, a pair of horns, and looked strikingly like Ifrit. Squall groaned inwardly as Zell pointed at him and began laughing anew. "You should see your face!" Zell gasped. Squalls costume consisted of light plastic armor, molded and painted to resemble the knights' armor from the old movies.

"…whatever..." He found his way to a chair in the lobby, if somewhat awkwardly. Zell absently flicked a small fireball from the tip of his finger. It bounced across the floor, burning it's self out with in a matter of seconds.

"Z E L L!! Did I just see you practicing magic in the hall?!" Quistis bellowed from the down the hall. Zell jumped, dropping a second fireball onto his costume. He quickly patted it out, looked up a Quistis, wide eyed. Noticing the strange absence of Zell's banter, Squall glanced up from his usually brooding. Quistis smiled when she caught Squall's eye. "What sort of Commander are you, letting him get away with that non-sense?" The blond woman was stunning in her costume. She wore her red-gold hair down, the thick locks cascaded down her back and two curved wings stretched out on either side of her head. Her skin painted a shimmering yellow/green and she wore a green-gold scaled body suite.

Irvine eventually wandered in, reluctantly sporting a costume hand-picked by Selphie. Irvine and Squall exchanged understanding looks. "Women" Irvine muttered, plopping down next to Squall. "She's so damned cute with that floppy hair, bouncing around, 'just try it on, it'll be great!' she said...'We'll match', she said. 'A pair of fairies!' She said, 'it'll be sooo cute', she said... the last thing I want to be known as is a fairy…" Irvine muttered to himself. The costume wasn't too bad; it was just green, leafy and leather. _At least he can actually move_, Squall thought. Squall caught the sound of Rinoa's footsteps in the hall, and Selphie's bouncing stride could be heard close behind. He watched the entryway, unable to hide his anticipation.

Selphie made her entrance first, a pink, sparkling ball of energy. The deli-bobs with pink stars protruding from her hair bounced furiously. She giggled and bounced waiting for Rinoa to catch up with her. Rinoa made a stunning entrance, the gold of her shimmering, form fitting gown catching the dim light of the hall. Pale shimmering wings protruded from the back of her gown, and a thin gossamer collar haloed her angelic face. A mask of gold was painted over her face, both accenting and hiding her beauty. Squall stared, frozen. To his right, Irvine chuckled and elbowed him in the ribs, jarring him out of his trace. Squall stood, as Rinoa approached him. He took her hands. "…" he was at a loss for words. She smiled, and he knew that needed to say nothing.

"Ready?!" She asked, smiling wickedly. "Then we're off!" she exclaimed.

They arrived at the ballroom, which was brightly dimly lit with dozens of paper lanterns. Fog machines hummed from both sides of the room, creating a thin mist throughout the room. A band was softly playing an eerie tune. Much to Squall's relief, the entrance of a small group of costumed SeeDs went unnoticed by most the student population. Since his status of Garden Commander had forced him into instant fame, he sorely missed his former ambiguity. The music picked up, and Squall led Rinoa to the dance floor before she had to ask. He was getting better at anticipating her thoughts. He led her onto the dance floor, easily remembering what he had picked up from his SeeD Graduation over a year ago.

They continued to dance, completely unaware of their surroundings. The music slowly came to a stop, and Squall spun her into his arms. Her doe-like eyes held him there, frozen. A spattering of applause startled him out of his trance. He loosened his hold on her and looked around. _Had they figured out who they were? _He wondered, knowing the night would be ruined if he were followed around by nosey admires. He hated to seem so ungrateful, but he cherished his privacy.

"And just think," Rinoa whispered, looking around at the people, "before you met me, you didn't know how to dance." _They were clapping because of their dancing?_ He wondered as Rinoa lead him from the floor.

"I'd forgotten how well you picked up dancing. When I was taking lessons, none of my partners were as good as you were tonight. I was floating." She sighed. They walked to the balcony over looking the ocean. Rinoa's costume wings fluttered in the cool evening breeze. The sounds of the party were drowned by roar of the ocean. Rinoa looked skyward and Squall studied the waves. _The quiet is nice. _Squall thought_, Everything is easier to understand without putting words in the way_. A swarm of cadets had found the balcony. Rinoa and Squall escaped before the cadets saw through the party masks and found their commander at the party.

Squall walked Rinoa through the dark Garden to her quarters. Her bare feet padded softly on the marble floor, her wings and shoes held in one hand. With the other she gripped Squall for support. He guided her easily through the darkened halls to her room. He stood in the doorway as she threw herself down on the bed, letting her wings and shoes drop onto the floor. Though her costume and hair were rumpled, she still radiated with beauty. He watched her, silently. She sat up. "Come all the way in, don't linger in the doorway." He obeyed, closing the door behind him. "I don't want to go to sleep just yet," she reasoned. He walked to her, still in his knightly costume, and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Here, let me help you with that costume, I don't think you can get it off on your own." She began undoing the clasps of the light armor. The armor eventually all came off, and Squall sighed with relief. His jeans and t-shirt never felt so comfortable. He took off the nose guard, which had hidden his infamous scar, and shook his head, tossing his hair back into his face. She laughed and brushed the hair from his eyes. He caught her hand, interlacing her slender fingers with his. Rinoa smiled sweetly back at him, her dark eyes crinkled slightly at the corners.

Then, suddenly the moment was shattered. Rinoa pulled away and rubbed her arm, where the Odine bracelet was an ever-present adornment. There was something stirring beyond the amber brown pools of her eyes. The restlessness that seemed to plague their relationship had returned. He didn't know what it was, but there had been something bothering her over these past weeks. He stood, knowing that it was time to go; she stood with him, and gave him a hug. He stroked her hair, and whispered into her ear. "I love you..." He felt her tense slightly before she pulled her self from his embrace. She turned away from him, hugging herself. He studied her, bewildered. _What had he done?_ "Rinoa?" She turned slightly, still unable to look at him.

"You should leave now." She said coldly. He didn't move. "Squall, leave, please." She pleaded.

"What just happened, what did I do?" Her small hands clenched into fists, and she turned to look coldly into his eyes. The pain in the depths of her eyes burned like fire.

"I don't love you, Squall. Okay?! I'm sorry, but I just don't feel the same anymore." Her words were like a blow to his chest. He couldn't breath. A single tear traced its way down her cheek and she turned away from him again. "Please, just leave." Unable to muster any sort of reply, he gathered up the costume and left her. The hallways back to his empty apartment had never seemed so long and infinitely empty.

_

* * *

_

"Squall, hey, I swear, the coffee isn't going to get up and dance." He looked up, slowly becoming aware of his surroundings. Irvine was sitting across from him. "Come on, get your coffee and lets go back to the Medical Center, the morning rush is coming in, and I know you're in no mood to deal with the kids." Squall picked up his coffee as told and stood, following Irvine back the way they'd came

"Somehow, I know this all for you, everything she's done lately. Since she met you, everything she's done has been for you, some how..." Irvine mused. Squall looked off into the distance. _Why would she do this, any of this? No matter how hard I try, I can't even begin to understand_. The nurse woke him from his thoughts. "Mr. Leonhart, the doctor wants her to be disturbed as little as possible, so only you may see her for now." Squall nodded, leaving Irvine to in the waiting room. She looked no better than before, but she was now awake, and in an almost sitting position. She flipped through the channels on the small TV with irritation. She looked up as he entered, almost dropping the remote, and looked away quickly.

"You didn't need to come." Her voice was hoarse, barely audible. She turned off the TV, and looked out the window, her arms crossed.

"Yes I did." He said, defiantly. He walked around the bed, blocking her view of the window. She obstinately flipped the TV back on, ignoring him. He clenched his fist, anger welling up inside him. "What the HELL were you doing, Rinoa? Look at me, DAMN IT!" She looked up, started by the force of his words. He approached her, cautiously, taking her bandaged hand. "I can't bear to think that you did this to yourself. I can't understand how you could do this." He looked into her eyes, the pain burned beneath the surface of her eyes like the night of the Festival.

"I wanted to… end it all… I needed to… It's the only way out..." She pulled her hand away and slammed it against the nightstand, knocking over an untouched glass of water. Squall deftly caught it. The bandage began to darken with fresh blood. He took her hand and held it firmly, as she tried to pull away from him.

"Stop it." He growled and began unwrapping the bandage. He cleaned up the deep gashes in her palm, whispered a cura spell, and re-wrapped it. "How did this happen?" He asked mildly.

"Grats. I got attacked in the training center. Angelo stopped them." As if on cue, Selphie came to the door, with Angelo at her side. Selphie's hand went to her mouth in horror. Angelo went to his master, whining softly.

"Angelo came to my room last night," Selphie looked down at her feet "I'm just bringing him back." Guilt painted her face. "Rinoa, I'm so sorry for everything that I said to you a few weeks back." She looked up at her friend, a tear trickling down her face. "I want my friend back." Selphie whimpered. Rinoa looked down at Angelo and rested her hand on his head, uttering no reply or word of thanks. She simply tilted her head back against he pillows and closed her eyes. Her head hurt. Selphie left without a word, but Squall lingered. She could feel his presence burning like a flame. He pulled his chair up to the bed and sat down, watching her.

"Please leave, Squall." She whispered, not bothering to open her eyes. He didn't move. She opened her eyes. "I want to be alone! Leave me, please!"

"No."

She sighed and left it at that.


	2. Default Chapter Title

Chapter 2

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***~* Chapter 2 *~***

** **

Squall awoke in a cold sweat. He sat up and looked around trying to orient himself. He'd gone home to shower and call Xu to tell her he needed the next couple of days off. Xu didn't argue, he'd been working almost nonstop. He'd lain down, just for a while to try and ease his headache. It had been building since last night.

He got up, nearly stepping into a pile of fur, reminding him that Angelo had come up with him. The doctors weren't too thrilled with the dog being in the Medical Center for too long. Squall had decided to keep him at his place, there was a lot more room, and Angelo could go out onto the balcony. He steered around the dog and went to the shower. His mind kept going back to his dream. It was hazy, and he could barely recall it, but it lingered on the edge of his thoughts, teasing him. 

He scrubbed at his hair, trying to remember. It was about Rinoa. It was as if he'd beeninside her head. He stopped _Ellone?_ He thought. _Was it Ellone's doing?_ He shook his head and let the water wash over him. He quickly finished his shower and dressed. He wondered how long he'd been gone from the Medical Center. It had taken quite a bit of urging from the nurses to get him to leave. 

He arrived at the Medical Center shortly, and went straight to Rinoa's room. Irvine was there, watching TV with her. She almost looked happy, he had but a moment to watch her before she noticed. She looked soberly down at her hands. Irvine quickly got up, noticing the exchange. Squall left the room and Irvine rushed out with after him, closing the door. 

"Squall, stop, please."Squall listened, reluctantly. "I saw what happened back there. I know how hard it must be for you, but she really does need you, despite her actions." 

"Why does she hate me?" Squall asked, painfully. Irvine simply shook his head. 

"She doesn't. I know it's hard to believe, but she doesn't. She hates herself, for being a Sorceress." Squall knew it made sense. He didn't want it to, but it did. It just took Irvine to say it for him to accept it. She had always worried about it, her Sorceress's powers. "She's afraid of hurting us, especially you." Squall nodded his head and leaned against the wall. He should have known. She'd told him countless times how she feared her powers. The last time she brought it up was about two months earlier, not long before the Festival.

_~begin*flashback~_

It was late, but Squall was restless. The last of the students were finding their way to the barracks before curfew, a few of them staring at him as he walked by. Much to his relief, none approached him. He'd gotten better at dealing with the students, but he still didn't enjoy it. It was one of the many aspects of his position as Commander that he didn't like. But since the perks often out weighed the downfalls, he didn't complain.

He found himself heading towards Rinoa's room. He hadn't seen her all day, usually she found him. He stopped at her door, knowing she was probably asleep. Angelo howled from inside, long and painfully. Squall grabbed at the door, only to find it locked. His heart thundered as he searched his pockets, finding his master key. He could hear Angelo whining as he fumbled with the lock. He finally got the door open, and was greeted by a worried Angelo. Rinoa was in her bed, moaning and writhing in a fitful sleep. She clenched the sheets and screamed. He went to her.

"Rinoa, wake up." He sat down on the bed, pulled her close, holding her still. She struggled against him, unable to wake. "shhhh, come on, it's alright." She awoke all at once, with a gasp, and looked around, wide-eyed. Her breathing was slightly labored. She looked up a Squall, tears filing her eyes, and buried her face in his chest. Her body was wracked with sobs, Angelo whined and rested his head on her bed. Squall stroked her hair, and held her tight. She eventually recovered her composure and pulled herself out of his grasp. She got up and went to the window, where the moonlight spilt into the room. She looked translucent, untouchable, in the moonlight. 

"Up until now, I've known exactly what I needed to do. No doubts, no regrets." She said, turning to face him, leaning on the windowsill. She smiled sadly. "Now there's you." She paused. 

"_I_ would know what to do, except for you." He replied. "You've turned my world upside down, challenging every thing I know." 

"The difference is that you're not selfish, like me." She turned away from him again. "You were faced with the decision to save me or save the world. You managed both. I'm faced with the decision, leave the ones I love, or destroy everything I love."

"No, no. Rinoa, please don't think that way." He said, standing.

"I'm a Sorceress! The one you are destined to protect the world from. I shouldn't be here, with you. I should be locked up, watched, studied, where I can be no harm to anyone. But I'm so selfish that I stay here, endangering everyone around me." She hung her head; she looked beaten, as if she'd lost everything.

"But the bracelet... you always wear the Odine Bracelet." She looked at him, her eyes burning holes though to his soul.

"Who knows if the thing even really works? And if it does, why didn't' they just use it on Adel instead of sending her into space?" She shook here head. "No... the bracelet is only a temporary solution... What if my powers manifest in some evil way? What if I'm possessed again?" She whispered. "Will you follow through with your duty, as the SeeD commander?" She got no answer, which was what she feared. "Please, I want it to be you, you remember, right? I want you to be the one to..." They looked at each other across the moon lit room. Rinoa glowing in the moonlight, her nightgown fluttering softly in the breeze, Squall, immersed in the shadows, the icy blue of his eyes glinting in the dim light. 

"I won't let it come to that. There will be another way." It was the same reply he always gave her. 

"But what if it does?! You've never answered me that! What if you can't save me? ! What then?" 

"I will protect you... no matter what." He finally answered. "I will always be your knight." 

"And that scares me almost more than my powers do." She whispered.

_~end flashback~_

"So what do I do?" He asked Irvine, shaking himself out of the painful memory. Irvine shrugged. 

"I'm out of answers, my friend. Just keep in mind that she still loves you. I'm sure you'll figure something out." Irvine grinned and tilted his hat. "You always do." His eyes had been following a young nurse heading down the hall. "Good luck!" He waved, and chased after the unescorted girl. Squall watched his friend, never quite understanding how he could switch from Mr.Nice-and-sensitive to womanizing pig so seamlessly. 

Squall stood at Rinoa's door, his head bowed. He had to see her, yet he couldn't. He was torn with indecision. He had blamed himself for everything. He blamed himself for her inheriting Edea's powers. He should have protected her, kept her far from battle. He blamed himself for not being able to stop her when she went out into space. He blamed himself for not being able keep her fears at bay. He blamed himself when she told him she didn't love him. He should have been more attentive, sensitive. He should have treated her better. He ran his own flaws through his mind over and over again. He should have seen her wasting away, but he was too wrapped up in himself, his own self-pity. He should have been the one to rescue her, no, he should have kept her safe, and happy, and none of this would have happened. _Why does everyone think I'm some kind of hero? _

His thoughts were interrupted by the approach of footsteps. _Quistis_ he thought, her footsteps were always so full of purpose. He didn't look up. She stopped a few feet from him, and watched him, her arms crossed. "You don't really believe this whole charade, do you?" She demanded. _Charade? What does she mean by that?_ He looked at her. Quistis wore her glasses and SeeD uniform, she still seemed like his instructor. "She's got you wrapped around her little finger. She and Irvine." He narrowed his eyes.

"What are you getting at, Quistis?" 

"Don't you think it's a bit odd that he just happed to have one of the few keys to that door in the Training Center, and just so happened to use it that night?" He didn't reply. "You let your obsession with her cloud your judgment. She's using you, Squall." He stopped her with an icy gaze.

"You've become bitter, Quistis." She scowled, and he entered Rinoa's room, leaving Quistis to seethe in the hall. 

_~begin*flashback~_

The day after the Garden Festival, Squall was nowhere to be seen, and neither was Rinoa. A rumor that they'd eloped began to circulate through the student body. Quistis and Xu had joked about the romantic rumor, and decided to let them reappear on their own accord. Much to their surprise, Squall had shown up to work the next day, apologizing for his absence, but didn't give a reason. He was solemn, quiet, unusually so, even for him. Quistis paid his mood no mind, figuring he his had his reasons and went to work as usual. She knew something was wrong when she ran into Rinoa while she walked Angelo. She was wearing an over sized sweatshirt, rumpled jeans and sunglasses, though it wasn't a particularly bright day. 

"Rinoa, what happened to you and Squall yesterday?" Rinoa didn't answer, just kept walking, determinedly. "Rinoa," Quistis was concerned now, "what happened? Did you have a fight?"

"Why do you care, Quistis?" Rinoa asked, her voice tired.

"Well, the both of you are my friends. I know that Squall isn't happy, and neither are you, apparently. I don't like to see my friends upset."

"I'm not upset."

"Then why won't you stop and look at me?" Rinoa stopped and spun around to face her.

"Why do you have to be so damned nosey?! You want to know what happened? Hmmm?" Rinoa snarled. "I told Squall the truth."

"The truth...?" Quistis stammered, stunned at Rinoa's sudden out burst.

"Yes," She cooed. "I told him that I don't love him. I'm sick of pretending to like you people." Quistis gasped, and recoiled from her friend. Rinoa turned away coldly and continued on her way.

Squall had reverted back to his former withdrawn self. He quietly and determinedly went about his business. All who knew him could see his pain, yet couldn't do anything to help him. He would talk to no one outside of getting his job done. Irvine was the only one he'd allow to even spend time with him. The two young men would play Triple Triad, or go to the training center. Irvine told no one what went on between them, saying that Squall just needed time to think. 

Rinoa had all but disappeared. Even Selphie refused to talk to her after finding out what she'd said to Quistis. She'd appear at the Cafeteria once in a while with Angelo. Most of the students had figured out what had happened, and the cafeteria would become silent. If Squall was there, she'd simply turn and leave. The only place that she'd frequent was the library. She'd take a pile of books and disappear for days at a time. She was often seen walking Angelo at night, a little after curfew, and no one would disturb her. If anyone did approach her, she was cold, and short-tempered. She'd been ordered to the Medical center, and they checked her for Sorcery activity, but her abilities continued to lay dormant. There was nothing to blame for her attitude change, except for Rinoa herself.

_~end*flashback~_

It had pained Quistis to see Squall's smile gone. It had been such a miracle when he finally did smile, that she hated to think that Rinoa had stolen it away forever. She hated Rinoa for what she'd done to her childhood friend. None of them had suspected Rinoa to be capable of such viciousness. She walked down the hall to Rinoa's room. She didn't know exactly why she was going there, but she was determined that it held some kind of evidence against the deceiving little bitch. She was going to expose Rinoa for what she really was. She stood at the door, and pulled out her keys. She swung open the door, knowing what to expect. She'd visited Rinoa here often. 

The room looked nothing like it had before. The cheerful tidiness was replaced by gloomy mess of clothes, papers, books and various other items piled and tossed about. Quistis wrinkled her nose and picked her way through the mess and to open the window. The curtains were shut tightly, and she had to struggle to get the window open. The room needed to be aired out. It smelled stale and of dust and dog. Quistis gazed around the room. _Where to start_, she wondered. She began piling the clothes into a basket.

* * * *

Rinoa awoke with a fit of coughs. She doubled over in pain. Squall carefully rubbed her back, and pulled her limp hair from her face. She blinked, her eyes watering, and looked up at him. He gave her painkillers and a glass of water. She obediently took them, and let him help her to lay back.

"You're still here." It was more a statement than a question. "Why can't you just leave me alone?" Squall didn't reply. His nerves were raw, tired of dealing with so many emotions that were still foreign to him. She watched him for a moment, and closed her eyes. She was too tired to argue, too tired to pretend. Her resolve was weakening, and she began to question herself and the secrete battle she waged. She wanted to go home, see her friends and her father. She wanted to be a princess again, not a sorceress. Back then, everything was so clear-cut. She knew what she was fighting for, she could tell right from wrong, good from evil. She'd had purpose, and confidence. It felt like a lifetime ago. She missed her friends from the resistance dearly. _What would they think if they saw me now?_ She wondered sadly. _They would never understand._ She opened her eyes to peak at Squall. He was looking through some paperwork, a pencil stuck behind his ear. He was her purpose, her reason for fighting the invisible battle. _For you,_ she thought, _only for you..._


	3. Default Chapter Title

Chapter 3

***~* Chapter 3 *~* **

"What's he still doing here?!"

"We can't wake him."

"Then just move him!!! I don't have time for this!" The urgency of the voices pounded through his skull. He felt hands grip his arms as they began to forcibly move him. His eyes still wouldn't open. _What's going on?_ He wondered, and began struggling to wake. He could hear machines, beeping, droning, and voices, precise and determined. He opened his eyes to a scene filled with white-cloaked bodies. Sudden realization hit him and he leapt to his feet, throwing the two young men off of him. 

"Get him out of here! Come on people!" _NO!!_ He thought, barely restraining himself from tossing the doctors away from the bed to reach her. The two young men, who had tried to drag him out of the room earlier, were now trying to persuade him to leave. He was completely unaware of their efforts. He turned to one, noticing him for the first time.

"WHAT HAPPENED?" He demanded. The man shrank away from him.

"The monitors just started going haywire." He hastily explained. Squall was frozen. Desperation tore at him; he had to do something, anything but just stand there. The idea that there was nothing he could do was foreign to him. "They are doing everything possible, Sir. You're only in the way here." Squall barely heard him, but left the room anyway. He couldn't watch any longer. The hallway was dark, lonely, and infinitely empty. The commotion in the room was muffled, dreamlike. As if to shield him from the painful reality, the dream began to wash over him. It was all too easy to just to focus on remembering the dream that had kept him from waking just moments earlier. 

_~flashback~_

He was writing, desperately scrawling as quickly as he could; though he had no control over the hand that held the pen. A tear splattered on the paper, sinking into the fiber, distorting the words. It was Rinoa's handwriting, barely. It was rushed and sloppy, but he recognized the tilt to the letters the shapes of the words. He tried to read them, but she looked up, rubbing her eyes. He felt uneasy, invasive. He didn't want to be there, inside her head. It just felt wrong. His/her eyes burned, he could see the reflection in the mirror, she was thin, and her eyes were puffy and red. He/she stood and went to the window. The room that had known so well was a terrible mess. It was hard to even imagine Rinoa living this way. The wings from her Festival costume hung by the window, fluttering slightly, the only thing that seemed to belong there. Papers and books were piled about, and her clothes were scattered in haphazard piles. An ashtray over filled with cigarette butts sat on the desk, ashes spilling over the edge, onto the wood. Angelo lay on her unmade bed, whining softly. She gazed out the open window and lit a cigarette. Her now bony hands shook as she lit it. He wanted to choke as she inhaled... It was a vulgar habit he had never imagined her capable of. He feverently hoped she would stop and go back to writing. 

Then the voices started. Very faint, barely noticeable... but still undeniably there. At first he thought it was from out in the hall, but eventually realized they were echoing insider her mind. They began to grow in intensity, angry, malicious and vengeful. He couldn't make out the words, but the emotions were intense. She gripped the windowsill, shaking her head. "GO AWAY!" she moaned. "I can't help you... I can't do what you want. I won't, I cant!" She took a long drag off the cigarette and closed her eyes. The voices got duller for a moment and then returned with even more intensity. They howled and moaned. It was unlike anything Squall had ever heard before... utterly unearthly. In that moment, he was truly scared. 

_~end flashback~_

Squall paced in frustration. He felt completely helpless. It was hard for him deal with the fact that couldn't help Rinoa in any way. His mind was racing over everything that had happened. He could hardly believe that what she'd endured. With those voices haunting her it was no wonder she'd been acting so strangely. _Some knight I've been._ He thought. _I've done nothing but fail her!_ He ran is hands through his hair and turned, nearly running into Quistis. She stood before him for a moment with an unfamiliar expression on her face, clutching a pile of papers. She looked shaken... and guilty. He knew the feeling all too well.

"Squall, what happened?" She looked near the verge of tears. He shook his head and continued pacing.

"I don't know.... I think... Rinoa is..." He couldn't contine. Quistis almost dropped the papers.

"Oh...no..."she whispered. The tears began building in her eyes. Squall couldn't face her. 

"I...I'm so sorry." She sobbed. "I feel so awful about all of this. Poor Rinoa..." She sat down, unable to hold back the tears any longer. Squall continued to pace, anything to keep him from thinking too hard. She sobbed quietly for a while, clutching the papers to her chest.

"I found these in her room." She finally managed after a long silence. "I had no idea... She was so tortured..." Squall spun on her.

"Don't even talk about her as if she's already gone!" Quests nodded silently. 

"I'm sorry...." She took a deep breath, wiped her eyes and looked down at the papers in her lap. "I think this one is for you." She held up a sheet of paper with Rinoa's unmistakable handwriting. He looked at it for a moment and took it from her, reading silently.

**For You**_  
I've always known where to go   
Following blindly   
My fated path   
  
I always knew how I felt   
My feelings burning   
Bright within me   
  
I've always known what to do   
Moving determinedly   
A goal firmly in mind   
Until you   
  
I thought I knew where to go   
I thought I knew how I felt   
I thought I knew what to do   
Until you   
  
Now the questions burn inside me   
The answers once clear   
Are all clouded   
  
My judgment is gone   
My feelings muddied   
Hazy and dull   
  
Now I wander   
With no goal in mind   
No path defined   
Because of you   
  
All I know   
Is my love for you   
Love's burning light my only path   
All else has no meaning,   
  
Your love   
The only thing worth feeling   
Now all I do   
I do only for you   
All I am exists only for you _

He took a ragged breath and sat down, putting his head in his hands. He almost wanted to cry... but all he felt was empty. 

"There's more..." Quistis said, breaking him out of thought. He was thankful for the distraction. There were too many things going through his mind all at once. "Page after page of everything that went on inside her head while I was busy being awful to her." Quistis put a hand on Squall's shoulder. "I couldn't read it all... I think you're the only one who should."

"........"

"She'll pull through." Squall looked up at the nurse in the doorway. "That toxin we found earlier was a slow acting poison. Luckily we got to her in time. She's resting now." Squall inhaled, the relief was unbelievable, he nearly smiled. _It'll be okay now...I won't fail her again..._

Rinoa blinked painfully. All she could see was blinding light. _Am I dead?_ She thought. Slowly her eyes focused, and she could see a figure hovering above her._ Squall. I'd better not be dead if he's here_. He smiled, and she couldn't help but smile back. No matter what act she put forward, she was always happy to see him. She just couldn't help it. He stroked her cheek, she sighed, and let herself enjoy his presence. 

"You are going to get through this. Just keep fighting, please." He whispered. She nodded, ever so slightly. Her hand found it's way to the ring that hung around her neck, and let sleep take her once again.

****

Selphie fidgeted and tried to sit still, which was incredibly hard. She had never liked hospitals. All the machines and the sterile smell of the place made her skin crawl. But she stayed and watched over Rinoa as she slept. She had volunteered to keep an eye on Rinoa for Squall. She thought it was kind of amusing that he didn't trust the nurses to do the job. One of his trusted friends had to be with her at all times or he wouldn't leave. She didn't know what to think of the situation, all she knew was that Rinoa was in serious trouble and no one knew what to do about it. She sighed and put on her headphones, she hated thinking too much, but it was hard not to. Everything had been so strange lately. She couldn't help but miss Trabia. She smiled thinking of the months that she, Rinoa and Quistis had spent helping to repair the ravaged garden. That was back before Rinoa had changed... when everything was going so well. 

_~begin*flashback~_

Selphie loved piloting the Ragnarok, it gave her rush that so few other things did. It was the only time in her life that she liked being the one in charge... the one holding so many other lives in her hands. Rinoa sat quietly beside her, trying to figure out just how she managed to pilot the craft. Quistis was down below, organizing and handing out orders to the relief volunteers. Selphie noticed nothing but the sky and scenery below. Oh a whim she steered the craft upward, above the cloud pack, just to see what it looked like. For a brief time they were flying blind through the blue gray fog swirling around them. She gasped in amazement as they topped the clouds and entered a realm unlike any other. The sun glinted brightly against the clear blue sky, and a floor of clouds spread out before them endlessly. The billowy gray mass below seemed almost substantial enough to get out and walk around on. Tranquility settled over her, as it rarely did. She sighed and giggled. No matter how many times she flew, the sights still brought intense emotions. Rinoa had nodded off to sleep beside her, leaving her to her thoughts. 

"What are you doing?!" Quistis had come up to the cockpit, and not in a very good mood from the sound of it. "You have a cargo hold full of supplies down there, you can't be messing around with daring maneuvers!" Selphie simply shrugged and leveled out the craft. Rinoa blinked at Quistis.

"But look! Isn't it gorgeous?!" Selphie exclaimed.

"Yes, just like every time we fly...But this time you need to be careful! I thought you would understand that. This is, after all, for your beloved Trabia!" Quistis scolded. 

"I know, I know..." Selphie muttered. 

"Nothing got damaged, did it?" Rinoa asked, getting up to stretch. 

"Thankfully, no, but we've got a bunch a worried volunteers." Rinoa giggled, and Quistis glared. 

"No harm done, then. Those volunteers need a little of excitement in their lives!" Rinoa said. Selphie had quickly lost interest in the conversation was concentrating on flying. They weren't far from their destination, and landing could be difficult in the rocky terrain. She began to descend, more carefully this time, the mountain ranges that hid the garden coming into view. She smiled; her friends' voices just a backdrop to her thoughts. She was coming home. Trabia was always home to her, and by the time they were done there, it would almost be back to normal. She bounced a bit in her seat, anxious to see her old friends. They had been waiting far too long for assistance. It would be Selphie to the rescue! She hummed under her breath and began to ready the craft to land.

****

Selphie had long since grown bored of being ordered around by Quistis and had wandered off to find Rinoa. Rinoa had been taking long hikes in the mountains lately, and Selphie had begun to wonder what it was that she'd been doing. Her boots crunched noisily in the light snow that had covered the ground since they'd arrived. The brisk cool air bit at her through her light jacket. She smiled. The cold was so refreshing, of course, until it got too cold to go outside... She followed the narrow cow path and ran her fingers along the cool granite face to her right, humming. She rounded a curve, spotting Rinoa's figure in the distance. She almost shouted out, and then held herself in reserve, just to watch for a moment. All she could see was Rinoa's back, her dark hair alive in the wind, and the white wings stood out on her blue duster. She sat, her feet hanging off the edge of the cliff, her head bowed. Rinoa reached to her right, grabbing a rock and with a quick movement, flung it into the air, and watched it tumble down. She then stood, and stretched, standing dangerously close to the edge. She flung her arms out, spread her hands, and then turned quickly, noticing Selphie. 

"What are you doing here?" She demanded, startled by Selphie's unknown presence. Selphie shrugged and skipped towards her.

"Just came a look'n for ya... What were you doing?"

"Ummm.... Nothing... just thinking..." Selphie bounced on her toes.

"'Bout what?" Rinoa shook here head, and walked past Selphie, back down the path, smiling.

"'Bout Squall...." Rinoa said, mimicking Selphie's speech pattern. Selphie bounded after her. She caught up to her friend, and walked by her side.

"And...?" Selphie asked.

"And what?" Rinoa continued walking.

"And...why were you thinking 'bout him?"

"Why would I not?" She replied. Selphie sighed loudly in frustration. 

"Fine then!! I was just trying to make conversation!" Rinoa giggled at her friend's frustration.

"I was just thinking about what he means to me." She paused, thinking. "About the fact that he would die for me..." She shivered, holding herself. "I love that about him, yet I hate it. He's too important to too many people to think that way. I just wish he'd think about all the other people who love him too." Selphie was quiet, not quite knowing what to say. _Would Irvine die for me? _She wondered. She grit her teeth in irritation. _Probably not... too many other pretty girls out there for him to waste his life on just one...He'd definitely think of all the other people first! _

"You are so lucky though!" Selphie exclaimed. "I'm not a romantic or anything, but Irvine would think of all the other pretty girls who would lose him before he thought of risking his life for me!" Rinoa couldn't help but laugh.

"That's not true... Irvine would do anything for you, I'm sure!" She giggled. "He's just...just Irvine." She ran her hands through her hair. "He just tries to not to look too attached. It's that whole male ego thing," Selphie giggled.

"I guess... Grrr..." she clenched her hands into fists, "he is just so irritating!" They walked down the little cow path in good humor, joking with one another about Irvine's antics. The sun was setting low in the sky behind them, and gray clouds were building up on the horizon. They were nearly back to the Garden when Selphie caught a glimpse of movement in the clouds. She squealed with delight and bolted down the path, Rinoa trailing after.

The small craft landed, and the hatch slowly opened. Irvine couldn't wait for the steps to finish lowering to the ground. He leapt from the airship and ran to scoop Selphie up. He spun her around in his arms with a big grin, loosing his hat. Rinoa smiled, and leaned against a tree, watching them. Quistis came running from the garden, her tasks forgotten, to greet her friends. It was an unexpected visit. Zell sauntered out of the craft next, stretching and looking around sleepily. Rinoa watched from a distance as the four friends hugged and chatted. Finally Squall appeared, checking the craft over. It had been a gift from Laguna, and he took great pride in it. It was small, but swift and convenient...and he was still pondering over a name for it. As he approached the group, all heads turned towards him. Rinoa sighed, and backed further behind the tree. His eyes searched the area before he acknowledged his waiting friends. 

"Where's Rinoa?" He asked before being assaulted with cheerful questions regarding Balamb. 

"She was just with me." Selphie answered, turning to look for the other girl. She shook her head. "Maybe she didn't see the airship..."

_~end*flashback~_

A nurse slowly opened the door, and grinned widely when she saw Selphie sitting in Squall's usual place. "You on guard duty today?" Selphie smiled and nodded, pulling off her headphones.

"Yup!"

"So how's sleeping beauty?" She asked.

"Sleeping..." Selphie replied in mild irritation. The nurse laughed.

"Well, good. No nightmares or anything?" Selphie shook her head. The nurse leaned closer to Selphie. "Does your being here mean that Mr. Sunshine is finally getting some sleep?" Selphie giggled.

"I hope so... He's been quite delightful lately, hasn't he?" She nurse moaned, rolling her eyes. 

"Oh yes... Just as cheerful as can be!" her words dripped with sarcasm. 

* * * *

Squall awoke from yet another disturbing dream about Rinoa and the voices. He rolled out of bed and jumped to his feet. He ran his hands through his hair, making sure that he didn't look completely unpresentable, and headed to the door, nearly tripping over Angelo for the umpteenth time. He let the dog out to follow him to the second floor. It was just about the usual time for his friends to be congregating in their favorite lounge for the evening. 

"Quistis, Zell!" He said as he strode through the door. The two blonds looked up from their conversation. Irvine handed Squall a drink, and he waved it away. "I've got a mission for you two, and you're going to take Selphie along to pilot the Ragnarok. I want you to find Ellone..." Quistis smiled.

"You mind giving us a reason?" She asked sweetly. "After all, this doesn't exactly sound like Garden business, so it would probably be a favor... and I don't know if I'd be willing to just drop my duties for some whim of yours to pay a visit to a friend.."

"Dreams... I think she's sending me dreams again." He answered curtly. "I want to know what she's trying to tell me!"

"Well... we'll get right on it in the morning." She replied. "Now why don't you join us and relax for a bit?"

"Yeah, man! It can't be healthy to be that uptight all the time!" Zell added. "A drink or two will do you some good!" Squall ignored Zell's comment. Zell seemed all too content to drown his troubles. It had become a habit of his, but hadn't gotten out of hand, so no one really paid it any mind. If anything, he actually got quieter when drinking.

"Is someone with Rinoa?" He asked, distracted. Quistis grinned.

"Yes, poor Selphie is still sitting there, doing her best to sit still. Now SIT DOWN!" She ordered. Irvine chuckled and Squall reluctantly found a seat. She reached across the table and patted his hand, in her motherly way. "I promise... everyone is doing all they can. But our patience is not going to last if you keep barking orders to get your way." Squall sighed. She was right... as usual. He knew he was being demanding and selfish. He was used to taking matters into his own hands. It was frustrating to know that he had to rely on other people since his duties tied him down. Irvine placed a drink in his hand and elbowed him in the ribs.

"Quisty will take care of it. Now drink, and try to relax! For once Zell is right!" 

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Zell bellowed. Quistis giggled and looked into her drink, and Squall absently picked up the glass of amber fluid. It was the same color as the flecks in Rinoa's eyes. He smiled inwardly. Little flecks of amber brown in those dark eyes...

**_ _**

**_The Depths of Your Eyes _**

_Deep brown eyes_

_Shimmering pools of amber_

_Enticing depths of gold and brown_

_The waters are warm_

_They call me to bathe_

_To be held in their warmth_

_The waters are sweet_

_They call me to drink_

_To be nourished by their strength_

_I'll only wet my feet_

_Only take a sip_

_Just a touch_

_Just a taste_

_In I fell_

_The edge dropped off_

_And in those sweet depths I drown_

_Had I known_

_Would I have still stepped in_

_To be swallowed_

_By those eyes of amber brown?_

(Author's note: I thought this poem fit in here nicely, though I doubt that Squall would actually sit down and write a poem like this. I guess this would be what he is thinking...)

* * * *

_"you know what you need to do...Rinoa...aren't you angry?... all that power... wouldn't it be nice...rage... no one in the world is as strong now...blood... just do it...just a little...all that anger... all that power... Rinoa...you like battle...you're so strong...hate... all that power...you like the blood...power at you fingertips...rage... taste the power... just a little...it would feel so good... just let it out... betrayal...Rinoa... you are all you need... just you... all that power...do it for us... do it for you...us...rage... betrayal... hate...blood..."_

Rinoa awoke painfully, emotionally and physically. She gasped for air and tried to sit up. She felt like she was drowning. Her hands searched wildly for something to grasp. She clutched the sides of the bed and concentrated on breathing. Someone was at her side, talking to her. She couldn't hear them. All she could hear was the racing of her heart and the voices...the angry, eerie, voices.

Selphie watched Rinoa worriedly, and called a nurse. She had been told that the nightmares had become a regular occurrence, but hadn't seen Rinoa's reaction to one until now. As soon as the nurse was in the room, doing what she could, Selphie ran to find Squall. She couldn't stand to see her friend in that condition, but she felt helpless to do anything. She had called Squall's room, and there was no answer, so she went up to the lounge. Irvine might know where he was... 

She danced nervously in the elevator and bolted through the doors when they opened. A startled Squall caught her as she collided with him. She looked up at him, her eyes wide, not quite knowing what to say at first. He knew instantly what her arrival meant, and went to the elevator. He turned as he pressed the buttons. "Nightmare?" Selphie nodded. The elevator doors closed. 

Squall found himself in the medical center once again, trying to comfort a distraught Rinoa. He'd gotten there just in time to keep the nurse from giving her a tranquilizer. It irritated him how willing they were to give her drugs. At least now she would be conscious enough to tell him what the dream was about. She clutched his shirt, pulling him down to her, her eyes wild. "They want me to do terrible things!" she whispered, searching his face. 

"Who are they?" he asked gently, trying to dislodge her hands from his shirt, still leaning close.

"I don't know! I don't know. I don't know. I don't know..." She muttered to herself, she let go of him, rubbing her arms furiously. He tried to still her. 

"Shhh.... Just try and calm yourself..." he held her hands and she slowly stopped struggling. 

"Quistis is going to find Ellone tomorrow. I think she might be able to help." Rinoa leaned back, relaxing visibly. She looked much better than she had. The past couple of days had healed most her wounds, but the voices and nightmares were disturbing her more and more frequently. The doctors had her on constant supervision, and Squall knew that they were beginning to think that she was insane. He shuddered at the thought. There was an explanation to her madness. They just had to find it. 

"I'm sorry for all of this, Squall." She whispered, looking intently into his eyes. The Rinoa that he knew so well had returned. "Sometimes I wish I had never met you. I know this has to be hurting you. I never want to hurt you...or anyone... That night, after the Festival... I just wanted you to stop caring for me, so I could disappear. I thought it would be better that way." She couldn't hold back the tears any longer. "I could barely stand the look on your face after I said that I didn't love you. I wanted to stop you... tell you I didn't mean it..." She sobbed softly. He pulled her into his arms, letting her cry into his shoulder. 


	4. Default Chapter Title

Chapter 4

***~*Chapter 4*~***

They arrived in Eshtar in very good time. Selphie had pushed the Ragnarok to its limits, eager to find out what was going on. Quistis stood on the cliff over looking the strange city. It was a place of mixed emotions for her. She felt strangely comfortable within it's walls, though the memories associated with the place were anything but good. She stepped up into the invisible elevator, Zell and Selphie close behind. She felt her stomach flutter as they dropped down into the city at a dizzying speed, and then stop abruptly. _Hopefully Laguna knows where Ellone is. _She thought, and headed down the bridge-like pathways of the city, Selphie and Zell trailing along behind. 

They only had to wait for a short time for Laguna. He had been tending to some political matter, and was all too happy for the distraction. He greeted Quistis with a charming grin.

"How lovely to see you, my dear!" He said taking here hands. "But from the look on your face, I can see this is not a casual visit, now is it?" 

"No, it's not. We are looking for Ellone. Last we heard she was here with you." Quistis replied. Laguna's brow furrowed momentarily.

"Ellone's been living in Winhill, but I believe she recently left to visit Edea. Why? Is something wrong?" 

"Squall believes she is sending him dreams again." Quistis answered, not really wanting to delve into the details. Laguna eyed her suspiciously.

"Now, I may be old, but I'm not stupid. You kids hardly would pay me a visit for something as trivial as a few strange dreams." Quistis brushed a few hairs behind her ear impatiently. 

"Sorceress Rinoa is.... sick. We think Ellone might know something we don't."

"Well, if it's Sorceress problems, then it's a good thing you came here. Doctor Odine's studies may have some answers for you as well." Before Quistis could respond, Laguna turned to one of the guards at the door. "Gregory, Please go to Doc Odine's lab and get that big thick, dusty old book of his... you know, the compilation of his sorceress studies." The guard nodded sharply and left, Laguna turned back to Quistis. "Now I know you're probably in a hurry, but if the book doesn't have the answers you need, feel free to send someone on back here and bug that funny little old man for some answers." Quistis smiled sweetly and nodded.

"Thank you, sir."

** * *

_...We have successfully captured all but a few of the remaining Daughters of Hyne. All have proven to be interesting subjects of study, with a range of powers, though none possess the level of power that Adel had expected. After letting me study them briefly, Adel sucked the powers from them and hungered for more. Several key Daughters still elude the soldiers and scouts, namely Edea. We had her and the remaining Daughters of Hyne cornered, only to have them slip right through our hands. Edea's young knight has proven to be quite the adversary, and Edea herself posses great power, which makes her all the more appealing to Adel... _

Quistis readjusted her glasses and flipped back a few pages. _Who exactly are these 'Daughters of Hyne'? _She wondered. _Apparently it has to do with the sorceress, and Edea..._ She found a page titled 'Known members of the Daughters of Hyne.' _Ahh... here we are..._

_...Edea Kramer _

_Husband: Cid Kramer, white knight_

_This young woman possess a great aptitude for magic, her mind capable of withstanding the overwhelming power of Magic without the aid of Guardian Forces. _

_Saree Trepe..._

Quistis paused, stunned. _Trepe? A relative of mine?_ She read on, not wanting to jump to conclusions.

_...Also shows great potential and mental capabilities. The Trepe line is the most pure of the Daughters of Hyne. The women in this family are born with inherent natural powers, needing neither to pass on their powers or receive powers from another sorceress. Though when they do receive powers from anther sorceress, the chances of Magical contamination is rare..._

_Magical contamination? What's that? Like the memory loss caused by the GFs?_ Quistis marked her place in the text and shuffled through the pages, looking for any information about this Magical Contamination.

_...Magical Contamination_

_A fairly common side effect of inheritance of Sorceress powers. Women who inherit the sorceress powers without proper preparation and mental strength are often troubled by dementia and depression. Because the powers are passed on from sorceress to sorceress, pieces of each woman's personality and thoughts are passed on as well. The more times the power is passed, the more stress is put on the recipient's mental facilities. Adel suffers from a level of dementia, but wields it as strength, not a weakness. Other women simply go mad. When this happens, often the woman is often suicidal, and dies an excruciating death, because she is unable to pass on the powers that troubled her..._

"Um... Quistis?" Quistis took off her glasses and looked up at Zell. She had been so completely engrossed in her reading that she hadn't even noticed Zell standing over her... let alone the fact they had landed. "We're here at the orphanage."

"Thanks Zell." She said absently and marked her place in the text. She had uncovered more information of use that she had expected. She hated to stop in the middle of what she was doing; afraid she'd lose her train of thought. She felt sure that the answers to the cure to Rinoa's ailment were just around the corner. She stood wearily, her back ached from sitting bent over the text for so long. Zell waited for her.

"Selphie is already outside, so Edea will probably meet us. Hopefully Ellone is here." Zell told her, Quistis nodded. The sun blinded her momentarily as she stepped out of the aircraft. She looked out over the familiar scenery, relieved to find four figures in the distance. Selphie, bouncing excitedly from foot to foot; Edea absently playing with a long lock of her silken ebony hair as she listened to Selphie's excited chatter; Cid smiling and nodding, his little glasses glinting with the movement; and Ellone watching the Ragnarok. Ellone noticed Quistis and waved. 

"I miss this place..." Quistis said absently. 

"Yeah..." Zell added.

****

  
"I haven't used my powers in ages." Ellone said, and sipped her tea. "Can't change the past. The Past and Future are set in stone. I've come to realize that. All that really matters is today. Why do you ask?"

"Squall is having dreams... dreams where he goes into Rinoa's head. Squall thought for sure you were sending them." Quisits answered. 

"no..." Ellone and Edea exchanged glances. Edea met Quistis' eyes. 

"That's not all, is it?" Edea asked. Quistis bowed her head.

"Rinoa is hearing voices... she attempted suicide. No one knows what to make of it..." Quistis watched Edea's reaction carefully. The older woman nodded solemnly and waited for Quistis to continue. "We visited Eshtar before coming here, and Laguna gave us a compilation of Odine's studies. I found some very interesting facts there... and lots of questions. Questions I think you can answer, Edea, regarding the Daughters of Hyne." Edea and Ellone exchanged glances. "How long were you going to wait before you did anything? You knew Rinoa couldn't handle the stress of the Sorceress powers!" 

"Quisty... you must realize, we had no way of knowing wether or not Rinoa could handle the Sorceress power." Edea reasoned softly. "There wasn't much we could do." 

"But something has to be done now…Rinoa is definitely not handling the Sorceress power anymore." Quistis stated. Edea and Ellone nodded. Ellone spoke up.

"We should take Rinoa to Eshtar. If there is anyone who can help her, Uncle Laguna can find them..."

* * * * 


End file.
